Sunday, 17 August 2008

Meezer Monday - The Truth Comes Out at Last!

Well as you all know, our good friend HRH Yao-lin is a truly tortured soul, having to share His Island with Baby Mao while putting up with a Slave who seems to lack the required training levels needed to meet his high regal standards...

While this reporter found the Slave to be utterly charming and lot prettier than Yao-lin had led us to believe, we understand his deep and unrelenting suffering. Being unique, superior in all ways and utterly regal to the very core of his being, poor Yao-lin finds it difficult in the extreme to put up with anything less than purrfection. While no doubt well intentioned his Slave is no purrfectionist... I mean when he demands Steak for the Royal Dinner, she offers him beef flavour cat food! Oh yes and it doesn't end there... When he feels the need for a little shrimp or lobster, he is served with nothing more than a bit of fish or some fishy smelling food from a tin of all things! His Slave also refuses to cook individual meals for him and Baby Mao, nor does she believe in taste testing each and every dish before offering them up to him! Yes, I too was shocked to hear all this, but it seems the Slave was happy to confess all under my amber eyed gaze...

One of Yao-lin's main issues is the lack of round the clock care for his Royal Self, to this charge the Slave admitted her guilt, mumbling something about "having a life" - it seems the demands of a single gorgeous Royal Meezer are not enough for her... Yes, this is his other big complaint! Why have Baby Mao around, if she can't look after his demanding needs to the level of purrfection he requires?! So it's not so much that he hates Baby Mao, as he hates anything and anyone who adds to the distractions his easily distracted Slave uses as excuses for his exceedingly poor care... Plus Baby Mao's happy acceptance of the afore mentioned low standards in the Slave just add to poor Yao-lin's growing disgust. To quote Yao-lin, "How can such a creature call himself a Meezer?" This reporter feels that if Baby Mao could only learn a little more meezer like behaviour from Yao-lin and shun the Slave and recoil in horror at the mealtime offerings, they might just get along a little better... Sadly Baby Mao is still a sweet and trusting boy, full of love and affection for all - if coming with a decidedly "interesting odour", best not described. ;)

Now to answer a few of your specific questions:

The lovely Miss Peach asked:
Where do you buy his colorful contact lenses?
- As you all know eyes are the mirror of the soul and extreme suffering and the colour blue go paw in paw with each other, Yao-lin's gorgeous eyes are this startling colour of blue purely because of his extremes of neglect...

The insightful Castle wondered:
Is Yao-Lin's slave surprised that Yao-lin has stuck around, and not wandered off to find a new home? - Oh he does on a daily basis, but sadly His Island seems to be inhabited by a truly inferior level of slavekind and he has yet to bribe the ferryman to smuggle him over to the Mainland!

My guru and mentor Daisy enquired:
Is it difficult to find royal fashions that suit Yao-Lin's high standards? - Oh yes! His Island lacks a pet Fashion Boutique, such as should be found in any truly civilized Principality... This has lead to some online ordering mishaps because the Slave just wouldn't listen and as you all know clothing sizes around the World differ.

Goldie simply needed to find out:
Does Yao-Lin really hates Baby Mao ALL the time? This was easy to answer... Oh Yes!

While lastly, Shade wished to know the following:
Does the Slave walk in on moments of cuddling and grooming once in the rare while? Most emphatically not and you should wash your mouth out for so much as suggesting that the Royal tongue might so much as willingly touch Baby Mao's odoriferous fur!

In conclusion, Yao-lin's sufferings are real, profound and ongoing, although his Slave is far nicer than he'd have you think as is the cute Baby Mao - as long as you remain up wind of him! So there you have this reporter's full findings on her maiden assignment. I think my next one might be an exposé on what has happened to cause the lovely Marie's long spell of blog silence recently... I tell you folks this will not be one to miss! :)

15 comments:

Sen and Tom said...

My Perfect Isis,

That is a truly outstanding piece of investigative journalism! I feel for poor Yao-Lin although there is a niggling question at the back of my head: if you and I can bear to live, and rather happily, with our housemates, perhaps he might make a teeny, tiny little effort too?

Your ever faithful,
Sen-Chan

Cheysuli and gemini said...

That was an excellent investigative piece. I can't wait to learn more about HRH!

Shadow / Molly said...

Good job on the report Isis. And I fink your picture on Yao lins blog was stunning.

~ Shadow ~

Daisy said...

A most insightful expose! Isis, I think you have found your true calling as a reporter.

Dragonheart and Merlin said...

Excellent article, Isis! Well done.

Castle said...

that is a super report Isis! thank you for conducting such a great propbing interview. I do feel sorry for Yao-Lin, i personally know he has a sioft side (he showed it to Stormie) and if his human slave looked after him properly he would probably show it to her too. As for this 'life' business...humans are too easily led and somehow we must refocus them so they can forget about 'life' and dedicate their time to us.

By the way...My meowmie was going to write to your meowmie, asking her to put the word out with your Breeder friends that she is seeking a friend for me, but she happened to look on Siamese Rescue and there is a 13yo Meezer looking for a home..she is making enquiries...!

The Cat Realm said...

Thank you so much Isis! This was a wonderful piece of reporting, we thoroughly enjoyed reading it! Though we are saddened to find out that our dear friend Yao-Lin truly suffers - not that we ever doubted his word - we were just hoping beyond hope... We will go over there now and offer him some supportive purrs...

Name: Mr. Hendrix said...

wow! what a great piece of investigative journalism. we are always so sad to hear of Yaolin's suffering.

we saw your lovely photo over at his blog and wanted to say congratulations on your well deserved ribbons! you are stunning!

Eric and Flynn said...

That was great reporting Isis. We have long known that Yao-lin leads a life of misery, but until you made it public, we didn't realise just how bad it was.

Lux said...

Oh my. So it's as bad as I suspected all along. Tsk tsk.

What a wonderful report of "how things are." I shudder to think how you might report on *my beans!

goldenshade said...

Great report Isis! Well done. Did you have her under the *bright lights*?

I am surprised to hear that she thinks Baby Mao is so stinky too.

purrs Shade

The Furry Kids said...

This is one terrific piece of journalism, Isis. I can't wait to read your next article!

Karl said...

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Yes, it is time again for another challenge from The Cat Realm! Come and check out the details on our blog.
I hope you will accept the challenge and will eagerly await your entry!
Karl

The Cat Realm said...

Sorry - was logged in with the wrong account - that was me, Karl, from The Cat Realm...

Black Cat said...

Excellent report Isis! I feel you have found your true calling - in addition, that is, to being a prize-winning Aby, uber-mother and super model:) xxx